What was I thinking?

Here it is, fresh from the office printer. I was very excited to have it finally printed. No one has read it yet except for the significant other. And since no one else has read it yet, you might be able to sense what happened to it.

I must be the greatest fool of all to have liked to so much.

I actually wrote you a story flooded with my heart’s desires of you. Initially I thought, “I should do it, shouldn’t I? There is no better time of thing to do for you” but now, I don’t even know what to feel. I can’t believe it.

I was so stupid to think that you would like me. Well of course you’d like that other person.

I’m now in the state of hating myself. I hate my life and I wished I could be someone else.

Reading the line before this, I’m quite shocked I wrote it. But at that moment, I could have never felt worse.

So, if you want to read it I can print one out for you. It’s not even written that well anyway. I’m keeping the original copy with me although it’s like a prick in my toe because there’s always a part of me that will believe that my heart has a place in the significant other’s silver cage.

Even today, I had the ” opportunity to be free and be myself ” but at that very last minute I turned away and while I know it was the best decision, I am regretting it.

 

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