Losing yourself in growth

“I didn’t know who I was standing on top of until I realized that person was me”

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You pledge to always improve yourself; to grow into a more successful person that you forgot the person you were before. After being in Junior College did I decide to not lose myself in all these attempts to climb up the career ladder. It’s hard to balance your own identity and the hunger to succeed. And while some people see no reason to look back at our past, I see the past as the present and that who we were before have helped us in some way and we owe it to ‘them’.

I didn’t want to be a part of that boring academia all my life. Creativity fills me and I want to bring that part into my University life. I don’t know how but I want to be free, expressive and as cliched as this sounds, be myself. Maybe my shy nature has prevented me from letting people know who I really am. But then again once I do that, I might be afraid that people will not like what they see. I’ve been building this wall around me and it’s hurting me for it’s fear that I’ve cemented the bricks together with.

A confused teenager becomes of me while I try to push away the fears that I have reared all my life. What does it take to remove them from my system?

If only there’s a better way.

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