Fizzyfiiz: My very own Facebook Page!

Hello friends,

I have just created my own Facebook page, “Fizzyfiiz“. It will contain most of my artworks here and many more in the future. I shall also be posting my thought process and inspiration to my body of work. I know you want to. So go ahead and like/support my page!

If you have enjoyed what I have been posting over the past years, share them with other art enthusiasts that you know.

Profile

“The harder you try, the harder you fall”, said the ugly guy

That ugly guy is me.

I’ve fallen into one of my low self-esteem moments.

Today during history class, we were supposed to discuss regarding the theme of Romanticism and present one picture that relates to the topic. As usual, I knew I had to bring something great to present to the class. And since it’s about Romanticism, what better way to reflect the recognition of imagination and sense of self than bringing on of my own painting. We were also given a set of readings that relates to the Romantic period to read up on.

I came to class all enthusiastic about sharing one of my artworks. Like any other students, I have annotated the readings with their interpretations. But when it was time to discuss, I was silent. My interpretations were inaccurate, and shallow. And I couldn’t impress this particular person. Throughout the remaining time we had left in class, I knew that something wasn’t right; I wasn’t the cheerful flamboyant guy anymore. I didn’t even manage to get myself to present in front of the class because I was reminded of my previous presentation where I screwed up and panicked.

After class, I thought of what ‘shoulda, coulda, woulda’ been done and the more I thought about it, the more horrible I felt.

I felt stupid and ugly. These two factors are indicative of my depressive mood. Even as I’m writing this, I feel as if there’s a ton of grammatical errors. Even as I’m writing this in the train, I feel that people are looking at me and making fun of the way I look and dress.

The thought of failure creeps stealthily into my head and it’s consuming everything till my very heartstrings. I guess i don’t have that higher level of thinking a university student is supposed to have. Only by being hardworking,I don’t know what I’m good at anymore. Sure, I can paint and sketch my cheesy doodles here and there but what’s the use of it when I feel so horrible about myself after every little problem I would face? I just wish that I am really talented in one aspect of life. Right now, I’m questioning my position in university and thus, the real world.

Deathly contemplations

Do not weep beside my death-bed,
I am not dead, I am just asleep.
And do not wait for me while I’m in slumber,
I am not asleep, I am just dead.

Do not think of me when I’m alive,
But do not forget me for my deeds.
And do not forget me when I’m gone,
But do not remember me for my sins.

Was it you who sat beside me in my weakest of days?
How did I sound?

Was it you under the sheets with me at night?
How was it?

And was it you in the end
that covered me up with white sheets?
What happened?

How did I look?

Behind the work of “The Rambling Man”

image

Now that I’ve got the publisizing post done, it’s time for me to write about the behind-the-scenes of “The Rambling Man”.  Of course some people were involved in the process. Since this is the first time I ever published a book, writing it becomes almost like an academic essay in junior college. I wanted to really write something for people to enjoy but I wanted to write about teenagers and their coming of age, especially for those with low self-esteem.

image

I had multiple drafts printed out after editting and cutting down on my excessive use of purple prose and asked my friends in my workplace to read it. That’s when the fear came in. There was so much darkness in my writing that I knew I would turn off many people. I did not want people to think of me as the character (even though it was written in first person). Well, it only take about a couple of reads my people to know that it does not really matter. I learned that to produce good work, one has to let go of all restraints so that their creative process can flow. So I kept writing. You may not know this but “The Rambling Man” was actually two books. When I saw the link I just had to fuse it together because character-wise, they were similar.

I shall not mention who played the fictional characters in my book but know that they do exist.

image

Here’s my 3 best companions during the process. That’s how my random thoughts and ideas flowed out from my fingertips to my sketch book. But in one day I could only complete one page of illustrations so with 60+ of them in the book, you will know that I would idle around. And worst still, my brother has his xbox as a gift and it has X-men playing on it. I have to admit, I took a one month break to play and watch movies.

Pitching the idea to local book publishers was the worst experience because you have to know what they’re looking for and who my target audience is. Let’s just say I pitched it to 3 book publishers (there aren’t a lot of them in Singapore, you know) and got no reply. I sent to Epigram Books but their book contents are very local based; stories about Singapore and the people living here. So I knew for a fact that they would not approve of my depressing book. Then I submitted to Candid Creations but theirs is a self-publishing route and I had to pay. Trust me, with less than $100 to my name I had to turn my back at them even though their fictional books are inspirational and I knew mine would fit right in. The last one was Monsoon books. I sent it to them knowing they were looking for a particular content but I withdrew my application 2 weeks later.

I was about to give up. I’m naturally a pessimist so I was about done until I bumped into Blurb. They provide print on demand services so I didnt have to pay much or at all for that matter. That’s when the fun begins; I could place my illustrations and texts in any manner I wanted to. It was worth it in the end, definitely. It was difficult typing the novel out at home with my family constantly walking about. They only knew about it when the copy of my book was delivered to my doorstep.

Link to the eBook:

http://store.blurb.com/ebooks/382087-the-rambling-man

Or

https://payhip.com/b/k9S4

An escape inside h…
By Hafiiz Karim

I’m now working on my second book with my watercolour illustrations and I hope you guys like it.

Until next time!!

First self-published book!!! The Rambling Man

IMG_5308

I’ve been working on this book for over 2 years now and it’s finally done. I’m dedicating this post for my debut of my first self-published book, “The Rambling Man”, a coming of age book about a person battling with low self-esteem and self-worth to be a better human being. I’ve made the characters non-gender specific because I want the readers to be able to link the characters with their people revolving around them. Characters include; the protagonist, the Little Robin, The Life-giver, the birch tree, the orb weaver and other characters to contribute to the illusion of a world I have created.

Remember this? It’s my first draft I typed out in my office place when I had some free time.

IMG_0116

“The Rambling Man” is an illustrated novel: one part illustration and another prose. Putting together this book triggered this whole other creative process and it dawned on me that not only is this a novel, it’s also a piece of art work. Deriving most of my ideas from my sketches, it seemed that I have unconsciously created this narrative with my illustrations and they happened to be connected in a way. What seemed to be a creation turned out to also be a puzzle being put together; a process to figure out what lies behind the mind of the author.

There have been contemplations about my novel to be purple prose but I deliberately did that to reflect the true essence of a teenager’s mind. What better for exaggeration to take place here. One moment the protagonist is sinking into a pool of quicksand and another, talking to a Robin while smoking marijuana. I made hyperbolic references to nature and how they interact with each other.

I highly recommend you to get the eBook https://payhip.com/b/k9S4. Not only is it much cheaper but the illustrations pop out more on screen. I, on the other hand, needed to get a tangible piece of my work.

It can’t thank enough to those who have read my manuscript and while it has been a difficult journey, this book serves more of a catharsis than any other and I can actually move on from it. It’s been such a great experience and I can’t wait to create something new. In fact, I have 2 other ideas for my next book project; one dealing with domestic violence while the other is about a series of paintings that deals with the little bits sadness in life.

Here’s the preview!!!

An escape inside h…
By Hafiiz Karim
Until next time!! Oh how can I forget to thank Blurb for everything?!
%d bloggers like this: