“Daddy, I like this man”

“Daddy, I like this man”

I must say, that one hit me hard. No one has ever said that to me before. So my niece said that. Young? Try 2 years old. Or maybe she’s 3. (Today was the third time I saw her, so it’s not like I had enough time to know the whole of my family tree)

I was just sitting on the couch and I saw her holding a plastic chicken drumstick. Of course I had to smile at this little lady. She looked at me and I looked back at her. That’s when she said it. Don’t ask me what she was thinking because I have no idea. I wasn’t looking at my best, so that’s not one of them. I definitely believe there’s no positive energy circulating around me for her to pick up from.

Call me melodramatic or an egoistic person but I was thinking of all the times I wanted people to like me. And that is something I have to get out of because I know very well that not all will accept me or like me. Even I don’t like myself and to have someone say that, it puts things in perspective on what I should really be thinking of.

I’m beginning to see the depressive trails now and I better stop. I hope all of you had a great weekend.

Until next time!!

I made love in the woods last night.

I tried to go back to my fashion sketches but manipulate it a bit. I love the process of manipulation — in images of course. Attending art lessons in my secondary school days, I would always enjoy the art assignments for the exams. It’s like writing — you can create any stories you want — but visual.

I made love in the woods last night.
It tickled me for hours with its fingers so wrinkly,
and covered us both with its leaves so dry.
Its rough skin hurt (though only for a while)
till nature finds me sick and vile.

Hiding among those who could still witness this crime,
I felt sinned -- not for the funny things the creatures have seen,
but to be the one to've hide and not reveal.

And after we're done, it threw me down.
Down to where I almost had it
Crawling back forever hoping
that it will happened again under the sheets.

Will you follow me?

 

“Will you follow me?”

The world is getting loose and we are a part of it.

Will you follow me?

The pain that I carry is stinging my very heartstrings.

Will you still follow me?

I’ve destroyed my looks to fit in with the Morlocks.

Will you be there?

You smoked me out of my hiding place

and I feel like people view me for some distortion of beauty.

I waited, while I decry my stay in this world.

Embrace your quirkiness because it’s all you.

Well, it’s about time I give my depressing figurative drawings a splash of colour.

I’m slowly but surely getting there. One painting after another, I’m learning to experiment with other colours.

My next great challenge is to paint/sketch a portrait of someone. It would not be realistic definitely. I’d need a lot of practice to pull off a realistic figurative painting.

“Quirky beings”

Tell me the truth — What’s it mean to when suddenly we’re gone?; when ambitions fade away and our clothes fall from our flesh. Does it hurt, for I feel nothing?

“Go to sleep, my fine being,” said she.

“Tomorrow shall be a better one for you.

There are many more like you, so do not cry.

And there are those who face greater adversities, so do not let your howl amplify. Only you can make it better for yourself”.

 

Water me pretty

Today I actually had a really enjoyable time with my water color paint.If I may, my style of art or sketches is a cross between figurative and expressionism. And since I started out drawing fashion sketches, it would always be a part of my artwork somehow. So I wanted to do an experiment: To paint 2 pictures in 5 and 30 minutes respectively just to see how far my mind can go in a time constraint situation.

The first picture is a 5 minute painting titles, “For him”. I quickly drew and added the different brush strokes so that I can avoid the feeling of controlling my creative process. The imperfections do really add an edge to the painting and while I am not trained in realistic portraits, this is a good start for me.

This 30 minutes painting is ‘cleverly’ titled, “I’m lost because I can’t seem to find my way pass these fingers”.

Clearly, I need a lot of practice with my water color techniques and I need to be more spontaneous in my sketches.

Until next time!!